WAJIHAH

2 years later

2012-02-11T23:14:00.002+08:00

What changed in this 2 years? For starters i have a boyfriend, a very sweet and charming guy that does not act his age but i guess thats fine cause i dont act mine either. In fact sometimes, he's the one who's too serious when i just wanna kid around and have fun, & vice versa. & things have been super tough ever since attachment started and we're busy doing our own things. & then promises were made but not kept. & trust was lost and all but i guess we're still pulling through. Mainly because no matter what happens, its just so obvious that i really do love him. :/

In the past two years the drastic change in my life would be the relationship between my older & younger brothers of mine. hee. We don't fight like we do before, instead we talk about school, assignments, our future and even relationships. i may not say it to them but im really very grateful for their companionship and how close we gotten in the recent years. Granted, wafir is still in his secondary school life & to him his friends are the world; but that little cute brother of mine still makes time to talk to me & would even randomly sleep on my bed sometimes. Which is nice, cause he will always be my baby brother. Family is always the best thing after all <3<3

these twisted promises

2010-04-26T22:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, nothing can beat the feeling of being alone, It brings peace to these twisted thoughts and i really need a place to shout my lungs out because everything is filled to the brims. I have a mirror but its cracking and i think i rather keep it in for cracks will only get wider. I hate knowing that you were the one that says all these promises but breaks all of them one by one. So this is what i am to you? So be it, I will not get revenge, I'll just watch on and pray for karma to kick in. For i believe that there is nothing else that i can do except to sit back and enjoy the show.

Girls, can we meet on the weekends soon? Im free if you guys are. :)

first week of school

2010-04-24T21:30:00.002+08:00

Im guessing the appeal to blog has been decreased so much due to tumblr and facebook. Now nobody really even have the time to blog. Including yours truly..

NPSU's recent event, Prestige Fair and Glow party was a mega success thanks to all the GLS, CREW AND COMM! First week of school has been crazy, rushing down from class to the booths, skipping meals, sleeping in classes and lectures, giving out stupid flyers and late night dinners. Some days were fun, others were downright sucky.

Other than that was the Dance4Fund, Dancing on stage was another awesome experienced and though we weren't perfect i was sure that everyone wanted to join this crazy group of people. Damn! If only some shits didnt happened, that day would be far more memorable. I was really upset i couldnt join my bestfriends in the crowd that day, dang !

hmm, now what would really make me happy is buying some shoes! I hate my Kappa shoe :(

2010-04-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

GL chalet was filled with many many food, drunkards, poker, card games, twister :D oh yah, and a failed sunrise. hahaha. Next time, we gotta bring a compass. heee. I miss seeing the scrapbook, lol. Special thanks to syndris, leiyi, marlie and ares for putting extra effort for the book :D
We celebrated Gavin's bday too! hahaha, smashed cookie. woot woot ! hahaha.

A few more days till school starts. And all the days mounting up to the start of school is already all booked. oooolala ~ A few things i'll be looking forward to is dance4fun, Glow party & Prestige ! haha. All happening in the first week of school. Yipeeee. haha. Im excited for school to start. Heck, im even excited to buy my new notes. haha. How nerdy, i know. & im totally loving my thursday and friday cause i end at 12 !! awesome or whaaat ! haha. imagine all the fun thursday and friday i'll have. hehe.

Am watching The Woman Who Wants to Marry last's episode online and Kim Bum is too cute! haha. His smile and his small eyes, aaaah ! hahaha. This is all farah's fault for making me hooked. Now i feel like watching all the old korean dramas too. damn.

I wanna buy an instant cameraaaaaaa! hurry save money la you.know.who! hahaha. ;p

:(

2010-04-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Thanks to this pretty girl, I have been camwhorring. Poor Alicia has to upload a ton of pictures everyday. Tomorrow im gno bring my camera out *nods head*

PFOCS has been horrible. I dream of cheering and being with my freshies. haha. & I cant believe its over. What's wrong with me ? haha. The days have been crazy and I wish it never ends but everybody knows its gonna and it will. So let's just treasure the moments we have now and not regret later. These few days will be all that we have left..

& im hoping the decisions i made are not going to affect me. Mistakes are made for us to learn from. So im learning, slowly but surely. No matter what, i gotta learn to depend on myself. No one will be there for me in my darkest hour and i got to get use to it. Stand up and still smile. Thats what im good at and i will continue to do so..

Echoes will replay on and on
Memories wont fade if they are fond
Friends will stay even after the storm
But you and I are long gone

FOC

2010-03-29T15:30:00.004+08:00

The past 6 days have a been a downright blur for all of us. 3 months of hardwork have finally paid off and i cant believe its over. FOC has finally past & oh my the feeling is so new to me. I miss my awesome ares freshies especially A-some. haha. You guys were fantastic! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! haha. You guys cheered and played the game to the fullest. haha. That was heartwarming for me to see. Jivan, Kenneth and me are so totally proud of you guys :)

Facebook have gone crazy and Twitter updates keep chirping. haha. I feel happy that i can finally be on zachary (my lappie) but i wouldnt mind trading it for a few more hours in camp, just to get to know my freshies more. haha. Hoping to see you freshies soon. Damn, i miss my voice. Its totally gone! haha.

Maybe gonna go out with some GLs to get starbucks later, till then
God bless.

ares

2010-03-22T01:49:00.009+08:00

ARES

blahblahblah

2010-03-19T11:04:00.002+08:00

Just got my results and im pretty a-otay about it. Cept that i wish my GPA was higher. haha. But alhamdulilah i passed all my modules. Happy wawa? happy! Hard work pays off..

Last day off attachment is here and now all i got to do is take care of my health. I DO NOT want to get sick. Nope, i don't. I don't wanna be asked to go home. :( My legs, poor legs. I shall make you rest alot once attachment is done, i promise.

to whom,
& yeah im trying to be a good girl here. & ur making it hard. I know its hard for you but don't you think its harder for me? Im sorry if what I've done, the decisions i made is breaking you up inside, but im not a whole person too, there are cracks in me which you chose to ignore. & don't even seem to care. But heck, its over. We're over. I don't wanna hear about who did what and who said what. I wanna hear laughter, and joy. I hate this, I hate myself. Ive never knew that this would be the end. Now i will always treasure the moment more, and not think about the past and future. Now is all i have, & im making use of it to the fullest and nothing less.

I miss my girls :(

new haircut

2010-03-15T22:35:00.004+08:00

My new haircut which don't really have any difference actually. It's just shorter & lighter & bouncier & nicer. :) & i love this picture. I think i could have fly. Really, i could. HELIUM WAS SO FUN ! :D

Okay so as of now, im on a very very strict diet. I am lacking of money due to camp preparations, hospital food, dinners & dental. & not forgetting the transportation to go SGH all day everyday. Damn. Ive been spending way too much. So no money on food! I gotta save it for my transportation instead.

Mom's is in Incredible India, haha! I told her to buy me a sari & farah a magnet. I wanna impress my mother-in-law so i told my mum to buy nice nice magnets. haha. lame.

THINGS TO BUY AFTER FOC
1. SHOEPING ( im thinking sneakers )
2. TOPPING ( im thinking F21 )
3. Uniqlo's jeans
4. Uniqlo's shirts. (espiecially in white)
5. A hat from anywhere

laptop sales

2010-03-14T10:06:00.002+08:00

Laptop sales :D

Im still being so darn busy and im so looking forward to the Gl's pre-FOC BBQ though i have work the next day (nye nya kah ho !) Wanna know what i have been doing this few days? Really really wanna know?

Attachment, saving lives everyday and getting ticked off by my CI (hurrah!) -.-
Laptop Sales, promoting cute cute freshies to come join our camp :D
Ares movie outing, Watched Happy-Go-Lucky which was kinda funny to me, but not the others. WHY EH ? i thought it was kinda stupid and make me laugh.. haha. I always sing to the songs! :D
Gls dinner/outings, We are always searching for icecream, or issit me? haha. Al-ameen, Nana restaurant & Macdonalds & then ice cream, ice cream! We even did a mass dance in a secluded corner in town. & i didnt really knew the steps! & tats when jingda surprised me by swinging me. haha.

Ive been having a lot of fun lately. This wonderful hyped group of girls and boys are keeping my mind off important stuffs and im revelling in the moment. Taking a step back to look at the bigger picture. & yeah, im liking the feeling.

Haircut today ?

buttercup do?

2010-03-10T23:29:00.004+08:00

2 years back, way back that was. Was browsing through nasyita's old sony ericsson phone and i saw all our old pictures, my golly they were kinda funny. Our faces were so young and innocent. Mine still is by the way.

& now i really feel like cutting my hair not as short but just shorter. Such long hair is making me feel irritated already. heee. Ouh, i dunnoe. Attachment is making me crave for indifference and yeah im getting it. haha. Another day of standing and slacking awaits :D

ares

2010-03-09T22:51:00.002+08:00

Busy Busy Busy.

Cant wait for attachment to be over and done with because boy im tired. Trial camp was so tiring and short for me. Damn. I hope i'll be ready for FOC camp. I know i am ah. (wah! confidence!) Okay, gtg and get some shuteye

PS: ares is awesome :D

the road to perfection

2010-02-27T12:04:00.003+08:00

Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Who you meet, what you will do today, tomorrow and yesterday, death, birth. Its all interconnected to make you become a better person in the end. I wanna believe that im becoming a better person and this 'tests' im facing are all crash courses for me to become that person. I don't felt like i gave up, more like i step up to take the hard decision. Not because it was easier, but because it was the only way left. Im the most stupidest person in the world because i wasted so many tears because of this. We can't turn back time but we can change our future.

Im unbelievably depressed right now but i know it's all worth it. I can't have everyone in life and i don't expect to anymore. I wanna be able to live with myself. To look in the mirror and not feel disgusted and ashamed. I tried everything. There's nothing else that i can do. There's nothing else that i have to say. I don't deserve all this negative energy, I've always been a happy-go-lucky kinda girl and that kinda changed recently, i want to get that girl back and throw this confused and cautious girl away, far far away.

When will be my time to shine though? Its been such a lonely road so far..

sleepover !

2010-02-25T13:48:00.002+08:00

More of this coming soon. By the looks of my FB wall, me and my girls are way super excited for the sleepover happening in like 2 more hours ZOMGODZX! i love my holidays! hahaha.

Been stressed for a couple of days, weeks, months and i hate not being able to be a hyped on sugar kid anymore. Hopefully this retreat will be good and way way more destressing than a spa, manicure & pedicure all put together. haha. i need some brainwashing done. Attachment is coming and i feel so sad that nothing changed for me. Life is kinda unfair. I know im whining, but i guess i just don't know what to do. Its like a dead end all around, and i cant even go back cause i don't know the way. okay, whatever. Exams are over and i just wanna have fun :D

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY! FUNNY PEOPLE! TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE! :D

dentist

2010-02-23T09:25:00.003+08:00

Spastic. heh. My face is exactly like how im feeling now!!

I woke up with a nerve-tingling pain in my teeth and i was scared that there were monsters in my mouth so i told daddy to go to the dental with me. HE HAS WORK TO DO! Of all days, he has work today! So i have to go to Blk 717 Wdlands Dr 70 #01-114 alone. yup. alone. I always hated the dentist. & ive never been to one alone. god! i know its childish and you guys are probably thinking, 'My god woman, its just a dental visit!' But i dun care! I dun even feel like going to that stupid address anymore. & now that im 17 already they stopped giving me candy which is kinda unfair.

F the dentist, F his tools, F his white teeth, F his stupid uncomfortable chair, F his stupid big light that makes you feel so tiny, F his tools, F his "Now open your mouth, Aaaa" GOD.

Oh yeaa, mom, if you're reading this! GO AWAY!!!!!!!

not friends no more

2010-02-20T11:51:00.003+08:00

A paper done, but 3 more still awaits. I did my pharmaco notes yesterday and am proud that it looks so naise. To the point where im asking myself whether i should re-do my Cmbio notes to look just as nice. I think i got farah's disease. haha.

Busy day ahead. Going to Cheng's grandad's funeral & then off to study with my girls. Cheng is such a strong girl i must say. Still such a sunshine even after being through shit and grime, so proud of my girl :D Anyway hopefully i dun have to feel so stressed after the exams because this feeling is making me age twice as fast. & i wanna be a kid forever. I dun wanna grow up and be tied down.

I wonder how hard is it to not be friends. I never did that before, not be friends. I dun think i would like it very much. I wonder whether this is growing up. Making hard decisions on your own. Finding solutions that isnt really one. All the while, smiling and laughing with your family just to make them feel im allright, im just fine. This act of mine, i wonder if they buy it. Cause they keep giving me weird glances and asking me "am i okay?" Im not okay, but theres nothing you can do about it so theres nothing you ought to know. kapish?

i miss you

lying on my bed

2010-02-17T16:40:00.001+08:00

I miss my classes. & i miss doing projects. & staying back to disscuss irrelevant things with these group of irritating people. I miss having a purpose to go to school. I miss my classmates. Of being part of something and not having a responsibility of being part of it. School's out and the end of year one is almost here. Afterwards will only hold busy days and nights what with FOC camps coming up. :)))

Valentine's with my girlfriends. Perfect. It was like how it was so many years back. Us, chatting till the sun sets and the moon shines. With the same old faces. Some things never change. How i love that. Things that don't change.

Chinese New Year with my cousins. Relatives from Japan, Britain & Canada. How i wish we could be well acquainted. Family we are but we just know the faces and even the names are a blur to me. Though they are hospitable. Welcoming. Warm. Friendly. time will tell, i would say.

We lie on the bed we made. What ive done. Its all what i deserve. So yea, im lying on my bed now. damn, when issit time for me to wake up?

back to studying wawa. You have no time left. :(

BFFs

2010-02-16T16:58:00.000+08:00

me and my girls <3

my lesson learnt

2010-02-11T22:45:00.000+08:00

Things have been a blur. Im going to be Eighteen this year but my life is on its own verge. Who would have known that a girl who was so loud, careless, and easy-going would have turn out to be so cautious and wary. I despise the person i have turned into and all i want to do is go back. To the four walls of 1E'05. Many years have passed but 2005 still is the best year i will ever had. Ive learnt true class unity and made a life-long pact with some amazing people. We got into trouble together. We got out the same way. "One for All, All for One"

I miss the feeling of happiness. Pure happiness without a worry in the world. Its seems so fleeting right now. & im never sure where it went. I used to be the life of a party when i wanna be. Now im all drained out. The happy pills last for as long as they are present. A step away and im already engulfed. Im just way tired. For one so young, Ive got some hard decisions to make. I just dunt know why i keep dragging it out. When i can just end it soon, No one is to be blame, Somethings are just not meant to be. You got your happy times, grab it, treasure it & dunt question it. 2010 will be a fruitful year with many mistakes made & lessons learnt

bonding camp

2010-01-31T21:37:00.004+08:00

I miss this little guy while i was away for 3 days & 2 nights. Missed him more than he will ever know. I entered his room to just know he's there, but he accuse me of just wanting to get some NIPS chocs, which was partly true. heh.
Just got back from bonding camp. A little bit of fun here and there followed by its consequences & feelings of regrets thereafter. Got a little too wet and way too smelly. Some games i wished would go on slightly forever while others should not even be played. The food was disgusting! & there was only a provision of mineral water & only mineral water. I dreamt of coke every second.

Been having this horrible empty sad feeling inside, i wished it go away. Its messing up my sense of judgement. What's wrong & right. I've felt this before, & the last time i felt it.. was not a story to remember. Mom's telling me something bad just happened, i wonder whether thats the reason why this feeling is stuck here. I hope it is. Please, let it be this, and not nothing else, never nothing else.

stress

2010-01-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

For a full story of what happened go to farah's blog. haha. All i have to say is that the effort we put in sure was worth it ! The day was so filled with fun, joy & laughter AND glitterz! hahaha

These few days have been nothing but stress. With all the projects and work to do. Rushing home after school so mum can go to work. Rushing to school cause ive not been getting my 8 hours of sleep ! HOW CAN I BE A GL MAN!! haha!

have been binge eating some days while not even eating the rest. My poor mum was so worried she went all the way to JB to buy me Dunkin Donuts, when there's one outlet at ION!

DADDY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
i love you many even though ur socks are always smelly.
I wish you would smile when i say you're not so wild.
Your turning 50! its time you slow down homey.
drink your tea and watch more soccer please
love u many many many !

farah

2010-01-22T23:09:00.002+08:00

FARAH IS EIGHTEEN! hahahaha.
May you love & hate your day tomorrow. I won't say anymore for i dun wanna spoil anything Just wanna say, keep laughing the way you laugh, cus i love that laugh! weee. love love farah azureen. suka?

RDP WAS AWESOMEEEE!
moving about to the rythm was ulala! hahaha! kinda stress-numbing experience i kinda needed. dee, wanna see you on that stage next year, you hear? haha

youknowwho

2010-01-20T19:49:00.002+08:00

Lin kental ah, dun wanna follow our pose. haha. Just got back from street soccer. & im so tired even though i didnt get a chance to play! Next week is my last last chance to score a goal! GO WAWA! actually, i really do prefer handball! :D

i turn left and i trip, i turn right and i slip. There is no way to turn so im stuck here. When is my turn. I need to move, im breathless. Thinking doesnt solve anything. Doing without a cause doesnt help either. I do not want it to be destroyed so i prefer to say nothing at all. If i could, i would not hurt anyone. As it is, im hurting everyone. Im trying to be happy. Im trying to smile. All i can do is try. But trying is not enough. What am i doing? What are you thinking? What should i do? Yes, i need a how to be happy for dummies book right here, right now.
While you are at it, get me some haagen daaz ice cream. I need the sugar.

My face is all cramped up from all the fake smiles.

busy

2010-01-19T16:15:00.002+08:00

Preparing for this night was the bomb!! Espiecially the search of the blue dress! FANTASTIC! heh. The night itself was just allright though

BEEN busy like hell.
Farah looks so saxaye, sexaye as hell :D
okay bye.

clueless me

2010-01-17T21:19:00.002+08:00

WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT!
god, if only i know.
WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT! WHAT'S NEXT!

LEIA

2010-01-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEIA !!
may you always be so bising & kecoh
Laughter & Joy will walk your footsteps.
Wishing your future to be so bright till u turn blind
Friends to be many & boyfriend to be ONE (jangan gatal la oi)
lastly, i miss you so. hope ur doing well.

PS: shasha, thanks for the baju. BUT i still needed to buy a freaking blue one. tell you why when i wanna tell you why la. haha. Most probably on saturday *whoops*

blurry at the edges

2010-01-10T14:47:00.007+08:00

Candid moments during the last minutes of 2009. :) I knew i had a blast that day because you girls were there, and nas was there too in our hearts (cheh!) haha. 2010 seems to be hectic with all the coming projects coming up. & im going to enter year 2 this april o.0 thats faster than lightning speed, it seems.

You fear what you not know. and for a girl of seventeen i fear many. The future especially but everyone feels fear upon the mention of their future. They place it at the back of their minds, thinking it best to take it a step at a time. You may plan for years to be a doctor but the twists and turns of life may make you a scientist or even a chef. Thats what i am afraid of. & seeing the effects of global warming and pollution all around me, i dunt think i wanna bring my kids to such a horrible world. If the world is ending, then you shouldnt have kids. Stop the mass production already. I want my kids to grow up in a safe environment not giving a care to any bird disease or tsunamis. impossible i know. I can never imagine the pain a parent would have to feel if they saw their children die before them. I think that is the hardest pain to bear besides being tortured by the Japs in the 1940s was it? haha.

My mind is just swirling because im thinking of the future. Yes, i should stop. Im going to dad's birthday dinner later on and i guess i should figure out what to wear already.

Your song seemed to be stuck in my head. :)

back to school

2010-01-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

Loved the non stop laughter and crazy rather rough games. Im looking forward to the next one y'all and im going to win first prize for the next one too. Cause im awesome and rather really outstanding duncha think? Loved the night walk to changi village where i kinda oogled at the tranvestite hot hot bods. Those looong skinny legs. The walk back was rather entertaining and i walked passed OCH and pretend it wasnt even there. heh.

School's has been school. Lectures are boring. Breaks is boring. Classes are boring. Friends will forever rock my smelly socks. Although im already sick of the scenery. Open house is coming up and i am not helping out, strange feeling. haha.
PS: IM SHORTLISTED TO BECOME A GL Y'ALL! :D awesomenesss!

resolutions

2009-12-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

1. To buy tickets to an M18 movie. (This is the year im finally legal y'all!)
2. Get an awesome outstaaanding results of 3.5 and above. ^^
3. Be true to myself and dunt get caught up with superficial ideas.
4. Always remember the old, the new and the coming. Never put myself before others.
5. To be more thoughtful of mum and dad, this is so far the hardest of all.

amen :)

Goodbye 2009, you have been good to me. You showed me the meaning of love and friendship, and how they are so tightly laced together. The endless fun and laughter, will always be treasured. & when i look back to this year all i can do is smile for i know it has been a meaningful one. U taught me betrayal, selfishness and the value of money. The hardships you put me through have toughen me up all right. I fear i may not have anything else to learn. Now i feel pumped up and ready to meet Mr 2010. Hope you would be better :)

miss you

2009-12-27T01:21:00.004+08:00

Ika ain't here this time round, haha. Maybe i should ask the blogger management to place those tagging functions in our blogs too. & then i'll tag ika in. heh. Im sorry i couldn't go to botanic gardens girls, really wished i went.

First week of attachment was kinda great beacause it was only 4 days long. & the staff is great too. Not so pressurising as i thought it would be. Damn, my post sounds boring talking about attachment. Stop it already i know.

Its been hard to say what i always wanted to say. Stumbling, Covering, Lying, instead of telling the truth. I always thought as i grow older, im gonna learn to be outspoken the right way. But december is ending, and it seems nothing has changed. Im still the same. Im still reluctant to find out what i want and need. Im like a kid who wants to try everything and nothing at the same time. I find myself confusing too, so dont bother cracking ur skull over it. & iathminkcienenedgwhoatiypoukcqanlgirvejmsehbtutfcuantdrivghtbnwow.
sheesh, this is making me nuts

BACK

2009-12-20T11:27:00.002+08:00

EVERYONE'S COMING HOME

Wingtai and kila is back in singapore already. & it seems that had a verah verah nice trip in hongkong and melbourne. Dang. Sense the tinge of jealousy people. I wanna go overseas too! I wanna go shopping for really crazy prices and come back with a tan or glow that almost everyone has. haha. Okay, im dreaming because its just not possible. I do not NOT have the time. & mum probably be making me use my own money. So maybe i'll just save up for now. heh.

Aqilah brought back this awesome box of chocolates. It was kinda mouth watering to see so many candy. Felt like christmas came early. The really crazy one was suba who ripped the box open. & FARAH! you stuffed your hot pink bag with all the goodies. haha. Kinda hilarious. & zakiah's sneaky face when eating the nougat. Okay, i can't stand it. Okay, they're all crazy. Hyped on sugar & presents. & my mum got het no00000-gat & she said alhamdulilah. haha. Wafir's trying to steal my candy but i hid it somewhere safe for sho' hahaha. I bet if i were to go out, all the candy will end up in his flat tummy.

Im gonna be watching avatar today! woooohoooo! awesome. Now all i got to do, is wake kila up. Bathe & figure out what to wear! what to wear!!!! :D

lost sheep

2009-12-17T13:15:00.002+08:00

Get it right
Don't screw up
Your brain is all mushed up right now.
So don't think
Just make it happen.
Make what happen?
Ever seen a lost sheep?
Ur staring at a lost sheep's blog right now.

Moooo~

THE stage

2009-12-16T01:19:00.002+08:00

Awesomee day. How can i put it into simple words. I cant really so i wunt even bother. heh. All you guys ought to know is that im having so much OUT days because dad is having so much IN days.

& im at the stage again. THE stage. & while all the other girls would feel so secure and safe. I feel off balance. I know its me thinking too much again but with good reason though. If it aint me, no one else would do the thinking. A handshake may jus be a handshake to you, but to me it also could be a handshake to judge a man's character, tell u about the person. Whether he is abusive or really a docile creature behind's a lion's mask. No, im not an expert at this. That is why im always and forever confused. Its nice to hear the words u would wanna hear, & it really does makes me tear. There is nothing more special and tender then that moment. But what if what you see isn't what you get. What if what i am inside is to ugly and rotten. Im not perfect but im afraid of being worse and evil than normal people. I dun wanna be evil. But im always afraid i am. Please say im not. Sincerely though.

xmas excitement

2009-12-14T23:15:00.002+08:00

Im excited for christmas, not because im planning on celebrating it or wadev. Just getting the warm-feeling excited jitters, it being the season of giving and all. & the lights at orchard is just awesome. & i jus adore paragon's xmas tree, its all good. haha. & everyone seems happier when xmas is around the corner. & i tend to sing to rudolf every other day. Well, the only cranky person in my life is still my dad who just pounded on my door to remind me that "Hey!! Im still being an ass!"

Had a very very productive day today. My teachers/lecturers/mother/anyone who is of any importance would be very very proud of me. I woke up & showered 5 hours later, ate breakfast @ 3pm. and then managed my farm, cafe & tank. & then it gets better. I did somersaults on my bed. I guess i was a lil bit inspired by these 2 contortionist along the streets of orchard the other day. Important thing to take note is, I didnt hurt myself! haha. Speaking of orchard. You guys should really check out forever 21 @ orchard central. Its the bomb! LOVE it there. haha. Sad point, no Men's. As usual.

I am so not looking forward to attachment btw. the early early mornings at the late late nights. & me always dissapearing and being out of the radar. Dang. I wanna go out and have fun & not have to save people all the time. Im seventeen, im not suppose to be saving people yet. Not unless its by blood donating, because i soooo wanna do that!

Anyway, half of december had run by us & im suppose to be thinking about my new year resolutions. Last year was 1. To improve myself & 2. To make 2009 a meaningful one. I guess number 2 is doned. The friends, and all the amazing new experiences with my friends. 2009 has been yet another wonderful year. But im not so sure of number 1. haha. Not really my place to judge myself now issit? It would be a totally biased judgement & tats not totally fair to myself. heh. Since when do i sound so self-righteous. Off to finding something interesting to do.

Toodles :D

all my girls

2009-12-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

Paddle Pop :D I think i need to stop this sudden ice cream craving of mine. heh.

Caught up with all my girls today, All my girls. & i was early, as usual. (Orang chua chu kang tak boleh diharap) Okay, so we chatted & updated each other. & i didnt really have any juicy details to share. Haha. So sad. Maybe another day. Im dreading attachment now. dang.

Im slightly off balance right now. why i dunt know. I guess i'll be allright & everything will fall into place when the time is near. I guess.. :)

Off to sleep
PS Daddy go far far away please.

fridays

2009-12-11T15:36:00.001+08:00

Its a friday. & im currently slacking at gavin's house, hiding from gavin's dog, brownie/browny. & then we'll be off to the AGM meeting. woohoo. okay, not really woohoo but still, atleast i got plans. Im only left with 7 hours of GG3 and i jus found out that hilary duff is in GG3! coooooool.

Yesterday was awesome! haha. Zombieland is a very very naise show. Though its kinda disgusting, some parts. lols. & i ate 3 ice cream yesterday making me feel so guilty now. Great. I wanna go swimming now. Swim. Swim. Swim. & i hate the fact that my tongue's wound is depriving me of my cravings. Shucks. Hate Hate. Hate.

Another thing i hate. Arguing with dad. He can hold a very long grudge even though he is the one at fault. This is men. & ego. & pride all mixed together. Although it was kinda my fault for butting my head where it doesnt belong. But when i dont i would have regretted it. So its a lose&lose situation. Hate arguments. Hate misunderstandings. Lets have less of that in the future. :)

goodbyes

2009-12-09T11:19:00.001+08:00

Farah's coming soon. & then we'll be off to the airport to say goodbye to aqilah. :'( & this reminds me of when i said goodbye to BEN SUAREZ. Ohmy, i really do miss that ol' dude with 'em locks. & jus thinking about that event made me so sad. I have this horrible habit of not being grateful of the things i've got till it goes away. & by then it'll be too late. That's the way im wired. I hate it as much as the next girl but there's nothing much i can do about it. So aqilah is going to enjoy her 11 days in australia obviously missing me, while im going to suffer in singapore with mum because everyone else is too busy to entertain me. I wish, i wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in the land of heart. Or wafir can come home from band camp to irritate me. That would be way more ineteresting than what i got planned for myself (nothing) Damn.

Time Traveller's Wife, Privileged & Gossip Girl 3 is awaiting. Hopefully this will make my holidays much more bearable. If not. I'll resort to playing Computer games with my brothers or catching midnight movies. Ohmy, sounds so yesterday. If only my maid is back. Im sick of always eating out. & my antibiotics is still plenty, & i was really trying to complete the course this time round. dang. Looks like i aint one of those compliant patients i learn about.

Mom's screaming. Time for me to start going off. AQILAH! me want my haivanas & 365 days & Rockyroad&NOOOOOOO-GAT ! :D

sucky holidays

2009-12-08T13:19:00.002+08:00

Kila is going to aussie tomorrow. Wing is already in Hong Kong. ShaSha, Faz & Azura is going to Cambodia. Nas&Farah is having their attachment & Ika&Dee is still going through school. This holidays is going to be such a blast. NOT. Im wondering why am i the only one still in singapore.

Daddy just told mummy that he is scared that wafir & me will end up taking drugs. Or i'll get pregnant. Or marry too young. Just because of a stupid article in the papers. -.- Stoopid i know.

Oh yah. Yesterday was the most sickest day of the year for me. I had a temperature of 39.3 degrees! o.0
I really didnt want to go to a doctor so i did a cold compress & bathe with super freezing water & took panadol. & i had absolutely no apetite to eat but ate poridge anyway cause mom forced me to. After 6 hours of suffering i gave up and went to the doctor nearby. Mom took care of me the whole day. From getting me my drinks to sending me to the doctor. She even clean up my mess. Hee. awww. how naise of her.

PS: kilaaaaaa. byeeee :(

sesame street calendar 2010

2009-12-03T18:31:00.003+08:00

I miss my mandarin class. I miss the crazy teacher who kinda always pick on me. & i miss nanthini's crapppppz! haha. Lessons was always extra fun with her & fatin around! :)

Just when i was thinking of getting a cute calendar for 2010. I got a super cute sesame street calendar FOR FREE! hee. They even come with these awesome teeny-weeny stickers to mark ur special days & i mark all my friend's birthday inside already. Weeeee! & im kinda high because i got a super cute calendar. Haha. Okay, such an idiot.

I was sad today. I was thinking about stuffs that made me sad. & i shouldnt think about the stuffs anymore because they are not healthy for me. & i got this feeling that sometimes i am such an egoistic person. Sometimes. Most of the time im naise. As in, really really naise. Haha. Self-praise is no praise. Hemmiways, Im still kinda feeling down. Im guessing things are never going to be easy for me. It always have to wind up in circles & its never going to stop. Round and Round goes the wheel of despair. Round & Round i go. Tell me what's next for me. Because i can't see it. Nope, not at all.

Back to studying AAP. When i have no motivation & no mood & yea, no nothing at all. Damn. I want my holidays now dammit. I have enough of cramming for exams already..

2009-12-02T16:43:00.002+08:00

My arm got boon's name on it. heh. I miss camps. & i miss leiyi. & i miss timtam. & i miss my babe & my gaylord & keane & everyone :( im sooooo sad that i cant go for prep camp. dang.
& i really really want to buy the NP shirt! & i want it both black&white! Gonna get it soon :D

Got a paper tmr and i have not started studying yet. damn. Im all distracted and confused this term. All that for all the wrong reasons too. I need a booster, from plaza singapura. Yummy. haha. I think holidays are really gonna suck this time. Im gonna find ways to make it a blast. Im good at that arent i? Not even sure anymore.

These swirls in this head of mine are twirling all around. I need to straightened them out but i dunt want to. It'll get messy. It always get messy. Dont want to dirty my hands. Im tired. & im sick. & my stomach hurts. I just want to forget everything. I need to feel the mind-numbing sensation. I feel like trying coke just to feel numb. Im not dumb, i wunt do it. But i feel like. There's not much different aint it? I need to be all-time high now, any lower and i'll be depressed.

twisting twister stories

2009-12-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

back from the Polympics, floorball. Nasyita was playing so OBVIOUSLY we came down to support. haha. Okay, we sucked but the supporters were just awesome! heh. 10 points for that puhlease?

Nas, Yus, Lin, Suffian & Reuban formed the team! haha. It was kinda funny when suffian fell head full frontal. Lol. & Qaiser, Suren, Philbert & William was also there. heh. William almost went inside the golapost. Head first. heh. It was rather scary when the fight got serious & all the guy's faces got murder in their eyes. damn. I was seriously scared of poor nasyita,, who if you guys do not know (this goes to you asshole number 13) IS A STICK INSECT! I hate that guy! HATE! HATE! Oh yah! Qaiser's HOT PINK floorball stick had me glued to the game. I find the colour so attractive. haha! Its super hot pink and verah verah naise! Lol.

Today was fun. We (clique minus ika! ) just talked about stuffs. & my cheeks were rosy & warm from the laughter. lols. I couldnt stop touching these cheeks when they are warm. LOL. Okay shutting it now. Cya girls soon :)

CTs

2009-11-29T19:54:00.002+08:00

COMMON TEST WEEK IS HERE

Goodbye oh-faithful blog of mine. For just a week.
I'll put these trivial matters aside & concentrate on once again, making sweet love to these notes of mine. Never did i hate a module so much, but nevertheless i do hate u FON.

Sad, confused.

2009-11-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

Wafir has been sleeping over my room for days now ever sinced he watch paranormal activity. & now he watched exorcism of emily rose. -.- Its been a torture fighting for the small so small blanket.

It's crazy how torn up a girl can be for something that is still unsure. Something blurred around the edges. Something that can dissapear as easily as it appears. Something that is so easily breakable. Nevertheless, i am. & yea its driving me totally nuts. I blame myself. I guess its stupid of me to get so caught up. Oh gosh. I gotta not be selfish. Im not selfish and i dun wanna start now. Or ever. Well, i am sometimes i guess but not most of the time and that is something alrd. Give me credit. :)

Im one confuse person. I hate it.

NASI AYAM PENYET!

2009-11-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

Haha. We look so cute! I miss my girls. & its like we live in different worlds. When in actual fact, we are all in a red dot on the global map called Earth. -.-

Exams next week and i haven start studying! Just barely started on writing notes! Im contemplating on whether i should go to Sentosa on Saturday! DAMN! Its leiyi's bday that day so it would look real bad if i dunt go. & i dun wanna miss out on the fun but im terrified that my results will get super affected. Im totally going crazy.

I WANT NASI AYAM PENYET! NASI AYAM PENYET! I dun even care if i have to pay for it, i want it! :(
I blame aaron for talking about it non-stop the other day & making me crave for it so much. Damn.

SAWI

2009-11-25T21:00:00.002+08:00

A proof of hard work i must say. heh. I did this in like say 3 hours? (Hope i get A+ puhlease!) My NR essay have made me weak, stress and so so sick. Lin is just dead in school. I think Fidi got sick due to NR too. NR & the weather! A module should never be this hard. Its crazy.

To add to the Thing's making Wawa oh-so-stressed!, Mom's sick. Her blood pressure is rocket high & she still doesnt want to sleep! (slap her) Kila's been feeling under the weather too & my headaches still loves me way too much. Common Test is next week & the only thing in my mind is well, nil. Die Die Die.

Im worried i cant be a GL for FOC camp next year. Even if i could be a GL after the interviews & shits, Im kinda worried my CA will clash with the camps. I will be sooo fucking sad okay. Craps! I wish student nurses do not have a crazy timetable that makes us go totally insane. Ahhh! Stress doesnt even cover it.

PS: Blur's gonna get a girlfriend this Christmas! :D

you

2009-11-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

You may not be her first, her last or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect-you aren't either,
& the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
& admit to being human & making mistakes,
hold onto her & give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking of you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break-her heart.
So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze
& don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
& miss her when she's not there.

& i would dearly missed the feelings im feeling right now. I see you, do you see me? The way im meant to be seen? Im gonna cross my fingers everyday. I need the luck. I always do. &&& I REALLY WANT THAT CAREBEAR KEYCHAIN & BLUR'S GF! heee. 10 bucks each, oh dang. As expensive as Blur. -.-

Suba's Birthday

2009-11-21T11:26:00.009+08:00

Happy Birthday Suba!

awwwwwww. A pictures says a thousand words, so i guess i dun have to elaborate anything at all. Anyway, the celebration was a blast. Hopefully, everyone had fun. Especially suba! heh. Hope your birthday wishes comes true.

Today's a saturday. My bro's back home, but Wafir's going away to a class chalet. Damn. I miss my brothers together. Wafir's been complaining that im always out all the time, so it doesnt make a difference whether he's at home, or not. How sadly true is that?

Time Traveller's Wife is taking forever to be read. Shucks! NR comes first though. NR ALWAYS come first.

The weekend @ Northwood

2009-11-20T09:08:00.011+08:00

WEEKEND @ NORTHWOOD

Wafir&Ilham with the hazelnut cream cake.

The little ones. Eager for some cake!

Nabilla&Me :)

Wafir's getting tall -.-

Everyone who matters.

Swimming! Was! Awesome!

Our first time using a waterproof camera :)

Our eyes got sore :(

World Drum Night. Dee's performance was Awesome!

A candid shot by Fizzo (HAHA!)

Early Next Morning, Religious Class.

This was on the 14&15 of November. Outdated i know but school has been horrible. Last weekened was just so hectic me rushing here and there but it was fun. The Northwood condo is so beautiful!! I love it there but I still think its too pricey. (Mama dun sell it yet puhlease?) Wafir's birthday is on the 24th November. What to buy? What to buy? He's gotten so rude and impatient, dang his hormones has kick in, full gear throttle. Though he is rather charming sometimes. Hah!

A shoutout to Nigel Lee & Subasini who were both born on 17th November :) God Bless!
Pictures on Suba's AMAZING birthday will be uploaded next i guess. There's waaaay too much pictures in my desktop right now. Damn!

school sheet

2009-11-19T18:00:00.000+08:00

i wanna cry!
School has been a total ass.
Practical just ended and i was more than lucky i got BGM. Still doesnt guaranteed me a A though. NR is so goddamn sickening. I see the future, it hold sleepless nights, redbull and eyebags.
i hate you

Nasyita

2009-11-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

To write a paragraph on how much you mean to me would be useless. For its my actions that you should cherish & my words you should doubt. All im saying is i am sorry for the fact that my actions have not been good enough for you to cherish. & to hope that you would see that i am apologetic of what i did do. Sincerely so. I wish for nothing else but to talk under the skies with my girls. We won't stop. Once we start, a waterfall breaks through. & i love how my ranting non-stop belongs with you guys :)

School has been school. Hating FON & Pharm while im loving all the rest. The stupid macdonald game addict has totally worn over as it just makes me unhealthily fat & so so SICK of macs. Many plans coming up like Movie Preview, Team Bonding Day, Dee's Performance, & so on & so forth.. Bees ain't busier than me. An essay, 3 Skills, & tons of other work to do & im sitting in this chair blogging away. Somebody teach me self-control.

Doesn't mean im stupid means i dunnoe what you guys are doing.

hate u.. S

2009-11-10T21:59:00.002+08:00

You come waltzing here. You go rolling out. How could i consider you as a friend now. After believing the rumors of just one person. Be it your mother or your best friend. I just find it unfair. How you would stand beside me when it is beneficial to you. Only when it's beneficial to you. I wish i knew what people think of me. So i would just ignore the hypocrites & erase them from my life. Im sick of being nice to people who do not deserve it. & im sick of always being grumpy & paranoid to those people whom i care about.

How could one incident turn out so bad. Turned into such drastic poportions. & when i look at you now. Im unsure of where to put you in. What category u belong to, in the end u will end up in the Dunt trust bin & i don't want that to happen. I gotta start thinking. & ignore all this rumors. Whatever you may think of me. Is however you would think of me. I shall not bother being apologetic when it is not my fault to begin with. Im not a doll, i have feelings. & u are hurting them..

Yoe're making me feel like such a bad person & i hate the feeling of always feeling bad for something. I gotta drill this in my head from now on. "Its not my fault!" & even if i did something wrong, i hate you for making it publicised. God knows i dun deserve that. Thats is IF i did something wrong.

Kuala Lumpur Shopping Fiesta :)

2009-11-09T21:26:00.007+08:00

HOLIDAY IN KL :)

I realised me&Daddy have weird fetish of weird posses. The holiday was oh-god fun! Almost met all-american rejects, can u believe that? Not a big fan but to almost meet a celeb is kinda earth shatterring moment no?

He loves to do these infamous tweest sign. Just like me! :D daddy was an annoying person who hogged the Teevee for his football channels all throughtout the 3 days. How boring.

Nyamum! BlurBlur LOVED this! Wafir find it un-amazing which is amazing to me. Since Subway is just oh-so-good! & i wished Subway would be halal in Singapore already. Come to think of it. Wafir was such fun to be with during these holidays. He only pouted those sexy lips of his once. ONCE! can u believe it?

AQILAH! haha. Was a fun sport. She tried arabian food @ this restaurant, Tarbush, and quote, unquote felt like vomitting when eating the hummus. Which is actually one of my favourite dishes. hee. My mum said she wasn't adventurous enough. (Ouch!) I think she was nice to continue eating hummus still. Ur the best :)

BlurBlur had tons of fun at KL! Shopping was just AWESOME!

& now i miss my big brother who have been MIA since he's studying for exams. Good luck bro. Dun be such a geek anymore. Its waay boring.

anna floyd

2009-11-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

“I’ll go out there and make my mistakes. I’ll fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, and get back up. I’ll stand on the highest mountaintop and go into the deepest caverns. I’ll roam across the world, visit the moon and swim in outer space. I’ll let my imagination run wild and let my spirit soar. Why? Because when my life flashes before my eyes in those final moments, I want to have something worthwhile to watch, with plenty of love and laughter, good times and bad. I don’t want to regret a thing and I plan not to. Remember, it’s not usually the things you do that you regret, it’s the things you don’t do and leave unsaid. Laugh out loud. Cry in the rain. Love with all your heart and soul. Get hurt. Tell the truth. Go crazy. But never forget that you only get one shot. One shot at this day, one shot at this minute. One shot at this age. One shot at life. So make sure your life is one you will enjoy watching in your final moments.”
— Anna Floyd

Life is tough just because people made it tough. Damn those people.

Olevel essay

2009-11-04T22:41:00.002+08:00

SECRETS

It was in the middle of the night. I was just about to forget about all my problems when my body started writhing in pain. My body tossed and turned on my small bed. My fluffy white blankets was drenched with my sweat. I started whimpering and clawing my head. Wishing for immediate death. My face was contorted with the pain. I wondered how long i could handle the pain before i would pass out.

The next morning my mother woke me up with worry lines covering her face. Her eyes were filled with concern and pity. That sight did not make me feel better. Realizing that my pain is making my loved ones worry is even worse than the pain i have to go through at night. I hugged my mother tightly, soothing her. We were all at a loss. We knew that nothing could be done to chase the pain away. The pills I swallow every morning would just prolonged it.

In school, i would be the happy, bubbly girl. Smiling and giggling at almost everything. My best friend, Amber would be my pillar of strength. Pushing me through another day. I could never imagine telling her my secret. She would suffer just like my mother. I would loathe the questions and unnecessary pity that will sure follow suit.

"Amber, I'm heading to the ladies for a minute. I'll see you in our chemistry lab later okay?" I did not wait for her reply and dashed towards the ladies.

As soon as i realised it was empty, i emptied my whole bag and search for my painkillers. I could feel my whole body aching with the pain. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks. I was on all fours searching for my pills. Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed my body and gave me my painkillers and a bottle of water. It was Amber.

Surprisingly Amber's face was only filled with worry. She did not ask me anything. I was confused. I was crying on the floor searching for my pills and she was not even asking why.

"I knew about your brain tumor for months now. I was wondering why you lost a lot of weight and kept disappearing to go to the ladies. I was curious so i checked your bag and saw all your pills Jill. I went to your mum and she told me everything. You do not have to suffer all alone you know. I will always be here to help." Amber's voice was filled with hope and love. She hugged me tightly and kept saying how everything will be fine.

I always thought i was the one with all the secrets. It seems Amber had kept one from me as well. It was a relief. My secret does not feel that heavy to me now. Amber has always been my pillar of strength. I realized some secrets are never meant to be shared, others are never meant to be kept alone. The pain at night is still unbearable but Amber and my mother will always be there for me. The thought of waking up to meet them everyday always put a huge smile on my pale face.

One of my english essay from my Olevels days. Found it in my desktop today & i thought it was not that bad. I missed writing stories. Essays are not fun when you have to talk about pressure sores & World War 2. Had a long day today. & will have a long day tomorrow too. Damn, kinda hating school.

BlurBlur just had his mango-scented bathe. He's so sweet smelling now. :D

Blur Blur First Day @ Ngee Ann

2009-11-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

BLUR BLUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

It was scary when Gila kidnapped me from Wawa. I felt so scared & frightened without her to take care of me. & then Gila passed me around to all her friends. This stupid Hongky person forced me listen to such horrible Chinese Songs. It was real torture. I really missed my favourite person Wawa a lot! & they forced me to watch M18 movies. Oh dear, my poor tainted eyes. How i wish Wawa was here to protect me.

I was randomly suffocated into Moron's shirt. & that was why i had a horrible stench the whole day. Wawa was complaining why i'm so smelly. Though she said she still loves me. I had a very difficult test after that. Everyone else was cheating, those cheaterbugs. Suba & Jiewan made me feel like such a star. Making me pose & model for them while they take such adorable pictures of me. I felt so blessed. & finally after that I WAS RETURNED TO WAWA~! wooohooooo!

Wawa was sooo GREAT. She dressed me up & made me feel like i was in Hawaii ^^ Her friends all loved and pampered me. & i made SO many new friends. She even made a video with me as the leading actress. I LOVE WAWA! After school, i had dinner at Macs. Moron kidnapped me. It was such a hair-raising experience. I thought i would never see Wawa ever again. *sobs* First day of school was cool, but i dunt ever wanna go to school without wawa ever again. Goodbye everyone!

love,
BlurBlur :)

2009-10-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

3 Reasons Why I suck This Week
1. I did not finish my 10 rounds on both monday & wednesday
2. I got lost on my way home though it was just partly my fault.
3. My blood pressure was too low to donate blood!! (LIKE WTFUCK ! )

School has been school. I keep snoozing in classes, lectures and even buses. Im a sleeping machine. Its scary because i do NOT wanna get a horrible GPA!! Its coffee time again because i have not been studying, revising or even listening. Such a lame example of a student. I should be kicked out of poly. (dun want!)

2nd week almost done, 3 more weeks to go till the exams start. 2 essays & 4 skills to study by week 5. Feel the heat mixed with pressure inside me? They told me year 1 was a breeze. They were lying. Just like the guy who told me fairytales come true & true love exists. They were all liars.

karma

2009-10-26T23:24:00.004+08:00

Different school, different friends but still the same old story always, ALWAYS crops up. I almost lost my beloved most favourite - test phone with an adorable keypad today. I almost got skinned alive by my mum. (& now i feel like singing the almost song by dunnoe which band!) Its nothing new really but i always hate it when it happens. That is why i believe in karma & i believe that there ARE good people like me out there who will return lost items. :D Bottom line, i got my phone back !

Blood donation drive will be starting tomorrow! How mega exciting. I wanna donate my blood! But i'll see how the queue goes. Please Please PLEASE GO DONATE YOUR BLOOD! @ Ourspace, block 72. From 11am-5pm. Okay i promoted BDD. (mannan should be very proud of me)

I hate lessons & i hate lectures. But i still want my good GPA! I'm only kinda looking forward to S&W because i wanna see the girls fall down. Hee. I won't be the one doing the falling so don't you guys worry :D

nike run

2009-10-24T19:56:00.003+08:00

Just had an awesome 5 hours of sleep after nike run. AWESOME! My still sick body was begging for some shut eye. I think its still begging for some.

So we stayed up the night at orchard road yesterday night with only an hour of sleep at esplanade. Wooo. The soft soft sofas there are just what we needed. Reported at the F1 pit at 4am & we were given our shirts & breakfast (McMuffin!). Daniel ate 3 & took 4 more for storage purposes! Greedy monkey. Saw DX! :D He is the SEX! Just because he helped me! heee. How sad that i can't really take the shuttle bus with him anymore. Travis was awesome too! Such a nice person seriously. :D

The water point went crazy haywire crazy at one time! Seriously! None of us had time to talk to each other. We were all running around hectic and stickly wet. It was oh my god fun all the way. Playing the sabo game & swallowing the remaining 100plus. hee. & the water fight at the end! Thanks for making my shorts wet suren. -.- Had popeye's afterwards & back home. where i bet all of us slept like babies!

& now, im so excited for standard chartered race! :D

KEANE

2009-10-21T20:59:00.002+08:00

Keane skipped his lesson to 'lepak' with me & he started taking high angle pictures. Bubbly fun. Im so looking forward to friday cause i can meet my chickies & keane. Woohoo.

3 VITAL Things that happened to me today

1. I pick street soccer for S&W (i suck at soccer!)
2. I watched 500 days of summer (awesome! but rather short story)
3. I got cheated by the value dollar auntie (she sold me a spoilt tetris game)

& im jealous, oh-so jealous of farah, who obviously KNOWS what she wants, unlike me. (I like to make things complicated, way way complicated. Im like a magnet for complications, & i hate it much though half the time its my fault.) & dun let me get started on those other chickies of mine cause damn damn damn! haha. Yeah, a relationship is not easy but those 3 girls make it look like a breeze. & they are my love stories. The one that helps me sleep at night knowing that yes love does exist. Just put in the effort, & all the hard things.

PS: Just keep telling yourself everything is going to be okay & it will be okay. Yes, i believe that.

babe

2009-10-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

My babe. & yea, he is rather lazy & lifeless. Not to mention a pussy & a sleepy head. But the one vital thing that makes him my babe is that he is a superbly superb shopaholic. Hee! Hor babe hor? Aww, i already miss him. Hahaha.

First day in school has been a real smack in the face. Not really a painful smack though, I just realised how boring & hypnotic lectures are. How sucky the food in ngee ann is. & i got to face the fact that im an awesome trend-setter! Just awesomezxs. My flu is maybe getting better, i have no idea actually. gawd! Ive been killing trees these days. Mother earth, forgive me. It's not my fault my nose needs tissue every 3secs.

Im starting at 11 tomorrow. How nice. A rare sleep in. A much needed one too. :D & i dunnoe what the hell im trying to do. How could i be so selfish, so greedy. I guess i gotta let some things flow. I always believed in meant to be's. Shutting my eyes tight to wish for u, & if ur not there, then u were never suppose to be there.

Photoshoot

2009-10-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

Miss my hair, with such ferosity i keep sweeping my bangs to the side but then i remember my fringe aint side-swept. Its bangs! cause i have a personality that BANGS! haha. crapsz!

Sha, Lynnie, Faz, Az, Daniel, Pink & Faizal had a photoshoot in my house today. I was Sha's little sister, pretending to be in sec school! & i got pregnant & my boyfriend (faizal) totally & utterly dumped me! So i tried to commit suicide! haha! Cool! It was funny ah! My depressed look like i was smiling! haha. Daniel & Az are married. & pink is daniel's scandal! & Az saw them like making out (this is where the shoot turned slightly M18) & pink left cause she didnt know Dan is married. & I think Az also left him then. HAHA! okay. funneh !

Rushed to watch sister's keepers! Me, Sha & lynnie cried like babies. U just gotta watch this okay! Its just awesomeness wrapped in 2 hours! haha. School is starting tmr & im sick! Like really blocked nose, sore throat & cough sick! Skipping school ain't a option u stupid dimshits. haha. harsh, i know.

Fences

2009-10-17T23:54:00.000+08:00

Paramore - Fences

If you let me I could,
I'd show you how to build your fences,
Set restrictions, separate from the world.
The constant battle that you hate to fight,
Just blame the limelight.

Don't look up
Just let them think
There's no place else
You'd rather be.

And now you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

Addicted to this old song. How awesome. & my speakers are blasting out the song & my head is banging along. & my bangs.. Well, its like they have a mind of their own. :D

Woke up to go to the bathroom 8 times today! EIGHT! Ive been skipping too much meals, & this is what i got. Today, the girl in the miror was horrible to me. dark hula hoops was humongous! HUMONGOUS I TELL YA! So cucumber to the rescue. The girl in the miror had a smug look afterwards.

Mommy told me that growing up means more responsibility. Which includes influencing my little brother to be as smart as me. & cooking. Her sudden obsession with teaching me her culinary skills is beyond me. Can't i just order takeout everytime my husband wants dinner? Dun worry, it'll be expensive takeout. Oooo. & mum also agreed with a thousand chops that i get to live in the condo! AWESOMENESS!

strawberries & chocolates

2009-10-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

This is what i had for breakfast this morning. Strawberries dipped with chocolate. Yummy! & Thats Pooh & Eeyore! My birthday presents from Suren & Qaiser. Aww.. They kinda look cute together but lonely apart. Hee.

Woke up early today to rush for my medical check-up. They just took like a tiny amount of my blood! I had to look away. The nurse asked me 'How are u going to be a nurse when you so scared?' My reply was 'I can poke people, just not myself!' What a sadistic beetch!

Plans for a relaxing day today. Im going to upload&edit all the due pictures & then head off for a swim. Its been long since i swam. Mermaid here i come. Haha. Afterwards, im rushing home to watch water polo. awesomez! Im listening to steph's paramore cover, dang im getting too addicted to paramore's songs. yadayadayada!

Too Hot Too Handle

2009-10-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

Overdued picture of our special dinner night with reservations! Dee wasn't there though. & when dee IS there, I wun't be there. SUCKY! Note on my sexaye-licious heels! & ohmygod! They made me walk for 7 hours after dinner. Some friends u guys are!! (dee is exempted)

Second day of BDD was just the same. Was tired, waaaay tired. I gave out those flyers fast! Azreen was bowing while giving.. It was SUPER CUTE! I tried it but i couldnt keep my face straight when giving, i would jus burst out laughing. I think only he can do it. Jamie was adorable too! haha. I told her to smile more & she said her cheek muscles hurt. awww... Giving out flyers = Sore Hand+Cheek Muscles :D The Himalayan tea frappe afterwards was ooo.. refreshing. & steph, azreen & me was reminiscing about SPARTANS. ooo.. i miss that. (leiyi's face was -.- cause she didn't know what we were talking about. awww) I wanna donate my blood but im scared it will hurt like alot!

He's not that into you is irritatingly awesome. Jennifer is just GLOWING! Glow Glow! I love her. Pretty baby. & dang she is so sweet in this movie. Like caramel sweet. Ben affleck was good too, but not in the same league with my jenny. ooo gosh. I wish i was her lesbian partner.

Chalet & BDD

2009-10-14T13:00:00.000+08:00

Chalet ended at 11am & i rushed to school for BDD to find that reporting was indeed at 10 not 11! -.- So much for punctuality.

Chalet was allright. Had some ups & downs. I think i OWN this awesome card game called taiti! Food was awesome! Night was scary like super scary. I kinda imagine people were calling out my name (wajihah not wawa, cus when ghosts call me wawa they are casperthe friendlyghostcute not theringscary) from the windows. & that was the moment where i got homesick. Like i miss mummy sick. Some cool people made the chalet just ohmygods fun. Bullying lizard with JW for example was funnaye-funnaye. & the first night was funnaye-funnaye too cus we slept at a 2 hour intervals. & dang i love those dewberry's!

Blood Donation Drive today was so tiring! Handing out 1000 flyers at jurong east. Forcing a big smile even when some of them were sooo rude! Saw quite a number of familiar people too. Me & leiyi were kinda bored so we started singing "I gotta feeling wooohooo!" I am awesome at giving out flyers. I am fast, like supersonic fast! i think im just too nice & innocent looking. Leiyi, dun be sad. Im sure they love u too in jurong. Just not as much as me! (OMG! ur giving ur -.- face to ur screen! tsk! tsk!)

2nd day of BDD tomorrow morn, oh dang. tired! tired!

Taboo Day

2009-10-11T16:38:00.000+08:00

Lazy Sunday Indeed. Taboo totally rocks my socks. & maisarah rocks more for owning it. I do feel that my vocabulary has grown just a little bit. Its been long since ive been to Chua Chu Kang. It was a lazy trip up & down the Mass Rapid Transport. CCK's still the same after all, free yoghurt will always be provided. Hee.

Nanthini is still a beetch. I always feel so molested around her. How sad is it that we're not gonna be in the same class again? & yea im thinking about the lady gaga top bodysuit now! Beeetch! Met Teck Yi & his little sister too. Mugging for O's which will start in 2 weeks. Hope to see you two in NP next year!

Going bugis to get farah's dream dress tomorrow. Damn farah, u better love me for this. My face is like a zombie lately! Zom, Zom ~

Dead Beat

2009-10-10T14:28:00.000+08:00

Nike Run Briefing in the early morning while the rain was pouring down on me, how lucky was i ? Rushed home to slowly changed to my black baju kurung! & went visiting once more. This time i went with my lecture mates! & along came, Nasyita, Farah & Dida. :D

To say i was tired would be an understatement. The whole day i kept wishing for a car. I think Qila made me such an ungrateful lazy child. Hee. Saw my brother for about 3.786 secs today. How pathetic. Tomorrow is looking up to be a good one indeed. Fingers crossed!

You know, I know, They know how it works. This thing we're thinking of doing, it seems like its placed over a hill, filled with rainbows & pots of gold with singing leprechauns. & its sweet, oh-so-sweet still but im not asking for a fairytale start/climax/ending. I do not need the drama, suicide, love letters & flowers. Though if you would buy me my favourite jellybeans every now & then, i think i would love you forever. That aside, It was the sun & moon that made me think. They pass by slowly. I am walking by surely & steadily. & the question came down, hard&fast. If i'm ready, will u be?

TBC

2009-10-08T14:49:00.000+08:00

I need good food. i need seoul garden & maybe a Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. Ooo, how nice that would be.

TB camp has been real tiring. No camp has ever been this tiring or emotional, ever. But heck it was awesome. Yea, we had to do loads of push-ups & yea The hall was a pathetic substitute for a bed. Still, the games we played, how dirty we got, the jokes we shared. Puts a big grin in my face. Second night was tough on me. Nigel made me have a mental breakdown. Like a really big one. Hate him for that! Hate him so much!! :D

5 TOP THINGS I DID IN TBC
1. 80 push ups!
2. Crap & Gossip with Ash, Steph, Jamie, Emran, Eric, Azrn, Kenneth!!
3. Drank cranberry, mustard, ketchup, fish sauce & almond syrup!
4. Dance infront of a campfire with a MAT!
5. Cried when i saw nigel AND keane on the field motionless!

Phew, that sounds tough huh? Leiyi, Tammie, Cheng & xian jin! you guys suck for not being there! :(

back from KL

2009-10-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

pretty overdued picture of me & the girls. :D Look at how colourful we are. Hee! I loved that day just because i saw so many familiar faces. & though some parts were rather uncomfortable, it was still alright. & one more thing, i jus gotta say it! IDUL'S house is just awesome! AWESOME! haha.

Back from KL, oh damn. im beat. haha. How was the KL trip? Hmmm, mum's happy cause i neva went to sunway lagoon. I'm not! haha. It's alright cause i wasn't really looking forward to the ghost house. Shopping was alright too. I miss the 1901 hotdogs & yessa ive finally tried carl's jr. haha. It taste like .. Burger king, haha. How perceptive. I miss the Hilton Hotel & i really feel like going to Bangkok now. :D

Going to get some shut eye. I need to find my things to bring list for TBCamp tomorrow morning!! damn!

supernatural 4

2009-10-05T11:30:00.000+08:00

First thing first, look at this gorgeous dress from topshop! I am TOTALLY going to buy this wonderful piece of garment on friday! My resolution for the week. Only, why did it have to be so expensive. :(

Supernatural season 4! :D These two brothers are still the most hottest ghostbusters there is. Basically i was just lazing around and jumping at certain scenes the whole day. (there was this one scene that made me ran all the way to my lil bro's room screaming! wafir just said 'Supernatural is not scary la dumb ' ) -_-

TB camp is tomorrow! 9am in school. sheesh! I have a feeling i'll be late. Bags are still unpack, better yet, check list is not even found yet! Dang, i feel so lazy right now. A lot of people backed out of the camp so im wondering whether i should go. Shall i just go? Nigel & Gavin better be there! My usual goons are just too busy to entertain me already. How convenient.

I'm tired inside and out. My body is just worn&torn. Maybe this is why such thoughts come so easy. It's scary how busy & swept away i can get sometimes. All these people rushing by me, do they even look at me? They like me alright, but do they know me? & if they do, its still not okay. I tend to hurt the ones i love, without any effort placed. Without thinking. Abbrasive is an understatement. How could i do this? How can i smile tomorrow knowing that you were crying yesterday? I gotta ..

Once again, i can get the oscar's for thinking too much.

So suddenly

2009-10-02T05:48:00.000+08:00

Be strong Farah. Just smile that big smile of yours. Thunderstorms fear it. & you know i really miss this zoo outing cum picnic. You with tickets, Me with food. :D

A long day awaits me when all i really wanna do is stay at home & read Harry Potter; Prisoner of Azkaban. That ain't happening anytime soon. Bags unpack, money unchecked, & in less than 24 hours im going to have to go out of dear safe singapore. Please pray for my safety cause i doubt im in safe hands. 1 reason to be happy that im going away for 3 days is due to.. Mommy being such a PAIN! Ranting on & on about boys, marriage, in-laws, etc. Oh dear god, save me.

Please miss me, singapore.

ShaSha :D

2009-10-01T14:35:00.000+08:00

So tumblr was being a downright ass to me.. Just like so many other things in this world. Back to blogger, so relinks are in order dear, beloved people.

Woke up at 9.30 today to celebrate my dear & most favouritest cousin's birthday today. OMGEE!! after how many months of not even meeting, i finally get to see this dear crazy lunatic again. Today was a blast! Her birthday celebration was beyond awesome. Speechless! It was nice to meet some old faces & uber fun being crazy old over populated areas. & i love the part where i get shasha to shake hands with random people. & u know! i got to meet with the cute guy in real life, but not in pictures again! When i was walking home alone! & he said hie again! haha!

A shout out to Siti Nur Rumaishah;
Happy birthday gila! Can u believe it? U must tame that too loud, too outgoing personality of yours already & must prepare to be a loving & demure wife! HAH! Like that will happen! My sides ache just thinking of it. Hee. I LOVE the super downright crazy things that we do. & i love how u always have the right words to say. I really do miss the times when all i had to do was punch in some numbers & we'll be meeting in ah hour, tops. The number 1 thing that i gotta say i just love about you is that laughter of yours. Yes, i know it sounds like a freaking hyena. A cute hyena. haha. You are a beautiful woman, inside & out. SO ITS JUST CRAZY to doubt that fact. Dun be anorexic ah, not nice tau! LOVE YOU MUCH!